In this episode, I welcome back Dr. Joseph Michelli for the fifth time, and we focus on a topic that explains a huge percentage of leadership breakdowns I see in real organizations: emotional intelligence. Dr. Michelli and I talk about why EI is still treated as “soft” even though it solves the hard problems of miscommunication, defensiveness, mistrust, stalled execution, and unresolved conflict.

We get specific about what emotional intelligence actually is: regulating personal emotions, reading the emotions of others, and using both to improve the relationship and reach a shared goal. We also talk about how AI is already reading sentiment and behavior at a level that keeps advancing, which means leaders have to double down on what makes humans effective: presence, empathy, and the ability to stay grounded under pressure.

Dr. Michelli gives clear coaching for common leadership traps: using introversion as an excuse to avoid people skills, hiding behind “I don’t have time to develop others,” and confusing emotional intelligence with people-pleasing. He calls it what it is—compassionate assertiveness—not aggression, and not being a doormat.

We also walk through practical language leaders can use immediately: noticing behavior without accusing, asking for help interpreting what you’re seeing, and aligning words with actions so commitments don’t quietly die after the meeting ends. We close with how EI helps in high-conflict moments, managing the body’s stress response, lowering the heat, and guiding the conversation toward something constructive instead of escalating it.

If you want to follow Dr. Michelli’s work, he shares how to connect with him on LinkedIn and access his newsletter, where he regularly writes on leadership, AI, and the human side of customer and patient experience.

Dr. Michelli's LinkedIn

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