In this episode, I turn the mic over to my own coach, Andy Hall, for a conversation about conflict and why leaders struggle with it. Andy and I talk about my path into mediation—from early lessons reading Fisher and Ury’s Getting to Yes to the intensive week I spent training with the Harvard Program on Negotiation. That experience shaped how I work: long preparation, deep listening, and slowing conversations down so people can actually be understood.

We look at the most common leadership mistake: pretending conflict isn’t there and hoping it resolves itself. We talk about why even seasoned leaders get thrown off when emotion enters the room, and how the fear of “not being seen as a good person” drives avoidance. From there, we walk through the essentials of resolving conflict well: get buy-in from the top, meet privately with each party, set clear structure, remove interruptions, ask clarifying questions, and take time to build a solid foundation before moving to solutions.

Awareness is a major theme. Leaders must recognize what they bring into the room, learn to read others, and practice Covey’s Habit 5—seek first to understand. Questions, not arguments, move conversations forward. And healthy teams need conflict; agreeing too quickly is often a sign that real concerns are hiding under the table.

We close with one practical step for anyone facing conflict right now: take a pad of paper, sit down with the other person, and focus only on understanding their story. Until you do that, every step that follows is built on sand.

Subscribe to Karl’s Leadership Writing.

👉 Who is Karl Pister?
👉 Follow us on LinkedIn.
👉 Have access to leadership materials that will level up your game.
👉 Contact us on our website.
👉 Subscribe to Karl's YouTube channel.

Ready to level up your leadership skills? Sign up for The Coaching Group's leadership courses.